If I were a suspicious person I would think my house is being cased. I got some broke-ass Washingtonian's broke-down caddy in front of my house as of yesterday, a guy tried to sell me moisturizing creams on the sidewalk (actually, he is my neighbor and works hard to make ends meet and I probably should have bought some. It was Cetaphil) and then 3 (THREE!) cable-innernet dudes with clipboards just rang my bell and were very interested in whether my dog is actually vicious.

They also reminded me that I have a doorbell. I forgot about that.

So, somebody's gonna drug my dog, steal my junk, and make off in a sweet 80's Cadillac. Not bad, grifters, not bad.