Naturally, I can't turn 34 without making an exhaustive list of what I did this year that Jesus never did. Allora. Adesso.
1. survived (I got a couple more weeks, but survival's easier now than it was back then).
2. menstruated. exhaustively.
3. got legal heath insurance.
4. did far too much karaoke.
5. had a lady slumber party (ok, no one knows if Jesus never did this).
6. made a fantastic spaghetti carbonara.
7. went to Chicago and New Orleans (Mormons take exception).
8. spoke English.
9. mail ordered cheese.
10. boned a dude.
11. started a werewolf novel.
12. cut a lot of ivy out of forests.
13. went to the ocean.
14. broke a motorcycle in front if a tattoo shop and made lots of new friends (to be fair, Jesus COULD have done this).
15. showered regularly.
Things that Jesus and I both did:
1. hiked.
2. ate fish and olives.
3. wept.
4. liked being alive.
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